What is “gatekeeping” in a custody context?

People use “gatekeeping” to describe patterns that interfere with the other parent’s relationship or parenting time. Courts care most about dated facts, proof, and child impact.

What evidence is most helpful?

Neutral, verifiable evidence: messages, calendars, exchange confirmations, school/medical notes, and consistent logs with dates and times.

Should I include every message?

Usually no. Keep excerpts short and relevant, and preserve originals. Quality and organization matter more than volume.

How to Document Gatekeeping / Denied Parenting Time

When things are chaotic, the goal is simple: clear, dated facts plus neutral proof. Use this repeatable method to log incidents and summarize patterns. Educational only — not legal advice.

The rule: facts → child impact → proof

Facts: date, time, location, what was planned vs what occurred.
Child impact: observable outcomes (missed school, stress, missed appointment).
Proof: short, relevant message excerpts + calendars + confirmations.

Copy/paste log template

PARENTING TIME / EXCHANGE LOG

Columns:
- Date
- Planned exchange (time/place)
- What occurred (time/place)
- Reason given (quote, if any)
- Child impact (observable)
- Proof / exhibits (filename + date)

Example entry:
Date: 2025-10-03
Planned exchange: 5:30 pm at [Location]
What occurred: Exchange did not occur; message received at 5:22 pm: "..."
Reason given: "..."
Child impact: Child missed practice; bedtime delayed
Proof: Exhibit A (message screenshot 2025-10-03), Exhibit B (calendar invite), Exhibit C (practice schedule)

What proof to save (best first)

Calendar entries (court-ordered schedule + confirmations)
Message screenshots (short excerpts + timestamps visible)
School attendance and appointment summaries (as applicable)
Third-party confirmations (exchange location staff, coaches, etc., where appropriate)
Receipts/records tied to missed time (transportation, childcare, activities)

Monthly summary (court-friendly)

Total incidents: [#]
Late exchanges: [#] (avg delay: [#] minutes)
Denied exchanges: [#]
Most common pattern: [one sentence]
Key exhibits: [Exhibit A, Exhibit F, Exhibit H]

Related guides

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Last reviewed: 2026-01-15. Disclaimer: MyCustodyCoach is not a law firm and does not provide legal advice. Information is for educational purposes only. Always verify current court rules and safety requirements for exchanges and communications.